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Category: KK

Steam tag, you’re it!

February 20, 2014 Kimo Kuppe Editorials, KK

People don’t choose the developer life, the developer life chooses you. It’s a difficult life where people get screwed over and good men are devoured whole by the likes of EA and Activision. A cruel, cutthroat world that millions seek to enter but few make the grade. And those who do face the insatiable maw of the fans who gobble up games like pigs stopping only to verbally abuse you. Some say this toxic cycle is the reason why nobody outside of nerd culture respects video games, and they are probably right. But you know what? I’m not here to join the endless cavalcade of lowlifes who write about video games and condemn these people for their ugliness of character. As a hater of many things myself, I feel compelled to defend my rotten people.

Review: Pokemon Bank

February 13, 2014 Kimo Kuppe DS, KK, Reviews

When Pokemon first entered the scene the game challenged us to “catch ’em all,” a truly arduous task that some of us actually managed to accomplish back in Generation 1. Now were on Generation six and there’s about 700 of the little buggers clogging up my storage boxes. Sadly they were unable to allow people to transfer Pokemon from the first two generations so starting with Generation Three (Ruby/Sapphire/Emerald) catching ’em all required the purchase of the two Gamecube games as well as waiting for FireRed and LeafGreen. What I’m trying to say is it was a big pain in the butt to become a Pokemon master and I’m not too keen on doing it again! So when Pokemon Bank was announced I was thrilled that I could bring in my old Pokemon crew to X and Y and see them in glorious 3D, and so I can breed them with pandas. For some reason I once again allowed myself to be blinded with optimism and forgot that the true meaning of Pokemon isn’t “Pocket Monsters,” its “tedium.”

Review: Ultionus: A Tale of Petty Revenge

February 6, 2014 Kimo Kuppe KK, PC, Reviews

Shareware. A term us old farts remember from back in the day. Back in the time when games were circulated by means of copied floppies. Shareware knew this and would distribute just the first episodes of their games out to people with built in advertisements to buy the rest of the game, thus pioneering the exploitative and penny pinching ways of today. But hey, it worked and some of my favorite games as a lad were shareware games by Apogee and Epic Games. Commander Keen was near the top of my favorites because like me he was a dorky kid from the Midwest who dreamed of blasting aliens and exploring space. Now, as my generation ages we have begun to hunger for that feeling we had in our youth. Nostalgia gnaws at me like a coyote. Fortunately for me developer Last Dimension has answered the prayers of human scum like me with their love letter to the old days called “Ultionus: A Tale of Petty Revenge.”

Hard Times at Dark Souls High

January 30, 2014 Kimo Kuppe KK, Late to the Party

I’ve been making some good strides in games lately. Beating La Mulana’s Hell Temple, 100% Wonderful 101, and making it to New Game+++ in Rogue Legacy to name a few. I’ve rediscovered a love of being challenged by video games and the euphoric sense of accomplishment that comes with beating them. So to make good on my earlier promise to beat my Steam library, and to keep with todays theme I thought I’d revisit my PC version of Dark Souls: Prepare to Die Edition. Now this won’t be a review of Dark Souls, mind you, because damn Dark Souls has been out so long there isn’t a Slowpoke slow enough to properly show how slow this would be as a review. Read more …

Super Mario 3D World: Enter the Heart of Chaos

January 23, 2014 Kimo Kuppe KK, Late to the Party

“I would like to see anyone, prophet, king or God, convince a thousand cats to do the same thing at the same time.”
― Neil Gaiman

Famed Wisconsin hillbilly Neil Gaiman is right. And nothing fits the “herding cats” analogy quite like 4 player Super Mario 3D World, the successor to Nintendos bush league series “New Mario Bros.”I say that because “New Mario” and “Mario 3D” both pride themselves on a 4 player experience in a fun, albeit somewhat flawed, way. I should clarify that flawed doesn’t at all mean there isn’t fun to be had. Quite the opposite really. While playing this with the cavalcade of degenerates I consider my friends, we communicated primarily by screaming or crying out in a confused manner for some semblance of explanation or plan. Read more …

Pick a Patch of Pikmin 3

January 16, 2014 Kimo Kuppe KK, Late to the Party

Now that I’ve fully recovered from my holiday hangover it’s time to stop phoning in my articles and get to the real nitty gritty. There are video games out there and I’ve been playing them! Some of them are so good that I would even recommend them to other people, such as yourselves. And where are these “passable” video games you ask? Well they are on the forgotten console, the WiiU. And the passable game I’m talking about this week is another installment in one of Nintendos newest franchises “Pikmin.” Pikmin 3 for the WiiU was already reviewed by our very own Joseph way back in October, but I’ve got something he doesn’t have; trust issues and a hair trigger temper, also I’ve played the other 2 games in the series.