Do you remember Portal? Man, that game was cool, right? I mean, it had fun, innovative puzzle-solving mechanics and slick yet simple graphics that showed you just why Valve remains one of the best game developers out there despite only putting out games with slightly more regularity than US presidential elections. And the writing was, put simply, some of the best you’re likely to find in gaming. It had a memorable, meme-tastic antagonist and made you care about a glorified paperweight.

Now, I’m not reviewing Portal or Portal 2, but developer Toxic Games wishes that I was. Instead, I just played through Q.U.B.E. Director’s Cut for the PS4 (check out who finally made it to this generation guys!), a game that can best be described as Portal without any of the charm or personality. That might sound harsh and it probably is, but that isn’t to say that there aren’t excellent moments sprinkled within this game. You just have to be patient enough to experience them.

Q.U.B.E. is a first person puzzle-solving game that centres around using your magic/science gloves to interact with various blocks in a sterile, laboratory-like environment. Different coloured blocks do different things; red blocks can be extended while blue ones launch you into the air and so on. While none of the puzzles are terribly difficult, some require a bit of trial and error or timing to overcome. The actual gameplay of Q.U.B.E. is solid if somewhat repetitive. None of the trials will be significantly taxing and the entire game can be finished in a single session if you have a few hours to commit to it.

Where this game falls down is actually in the story department. While you play through the various puzzles, a woman comes on over your radio and explains your rather precarious situation as:

1. You’re in deep space
2. You’ve lost your memory
3. The Cube is on a collision course for Earth and you have to disable it from the inside by solving various puzzles to reach its core

This is a moderately ridiculous premise but hey, I played Assassin’s Creed. I’m willing to accept a lot of silliness for my gaming. And when a man comes over the radio and tells you that the woman is lying, that you’re part of a crazy experiment deep underground and the world isn’t depending on your ability to manipulate blocks of various colours, there is a brief moment when you might find the story compelling.

That moment is brief, however, for one simple reason: It doesn’t matter.

I don’t mean that as in the story isn’t resolved. You’ll have to play the game to find that out (and this is a spoiler free zone, pal). What I mean is that it has no impact on the story. The voices that try to convince you one way or another never interact or argue and you’re unable to respond or question them. If you did question the woman, you would simply stand there doing nothing, as the story politely waits for you to follow the kind of encounter corridors that would make Final Fantasy XIII jealous. The story is simply the soundtrack that plays as you progress through the puzzles and rather than improve them or give them weight, it tries desperately to provide context to the game.

This all sounds very damning, but its not to say that the game isn’t fun or interesting. The puzzles can be very clever at times and there are moments where there is genuine drama in the game. If you’re simply looking for a game to occupy a few hours of your life, then there are definitely worse ways to spend it. However, don’t let the description of “Like Portal but with blocks” give you the wrong impression about the game. This is Portal stripped of its best bits and certainly doesn’t live up to the lengthy shadow cast by the game that inspired it. The rerelease on the current generation of consoles might have a bit more story added to it and, if you’re a big fan of short and sweet puzzle games, then this one might be worth the £7.99 price tag. If not, then this might be worth giving it a miss.

There is only room for one CUBE in my heart

Q.U.B.E. Director’s Cut is available now for PS4 and Xbox One.

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