I had decided that I wasn’t going to write about Destiny anymore. But then something very funny happened and I changed my mind. Last week was my anniversary with my fiancé and she gave me a unique gift.

See, for the last 2 months she has put up with me playing Destiny obsessively, disappearing into the Playstation for hours at a time. Turns out though that she hasn’t been idle during that time. No, instead she has been methodically cataloguing my conversations with the various people on my fire-team. My present was a list of the weirdest, and funniest things I’ve apparently said over the last 8 weeks.

If you’ve played Destiny, some of these won’t seem all that strange, but if you imagine what it would be like listening to a one sided conversation for someone who doesn’t know the game and they are quite amusing. So, here is the list of the best, recorded verbatim. Honestly though, I don’t even remember saying any of these things.

• There’s only one way to say ‘thank you.’ And that’s with a bullet to the face.
• I was picking some flowers.
• I don’t understand why this guy just won’t die!
• I have zero clue what we’re doing… Oh. We’re still doing that.
• Is that why that guy before was impossible to kill?
• Whoa! Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! Not in there! Not in there!
• The fights against the Cabal are a lot more scrappy than against the other races.
• Just nonchalant sitting there.
• I haven’t a clue. I don’t know what we’re doing on Mars!
• Ceremonial blade… Tower! Tower, tower!
• I just got a piece of armour that doubles the amount of armour I had before – more than doubles!
• Since we can’t re-spawn, let’s not try any heroics.
• Mental note: load a shotgun if you want to use one.
• Oh! This is the magic cave – that is no longer magic.
• What are you doing? Killing people.
• Check it out now! Da funk show brother. Right about now!… Do you like that song?
• I have to be careful – Ooh! (frantic butting mashing) – ‘cos I often kill myself with the rocket launcher or with my own superpower.
• Apparently… I’ve been recording a video because it just said: “video saved”. I don’t remember doing that.
• Oh, I’m out of ammo. Not good!
• Bloody Dinkleface!
• I’ve been doing nothing. I’ve been hiding behind this fucking rock.
• Boots make you more intelligent. (snicker)
• Alright… Should we go to space?
• Die, you bastard!
• I’m gonna sort of watch the backdoor here.
• Oh. The reason I’m about to die… is because I have no ammunition in my gun. And I’ve just been clicking.
• Where have I spawned?!
• There’s one of those little peon shits standing on top of my orb!

There you have it. Apparently I’m a bit a freak. She’s going to keep up her log so I might do another of these someday if the mood strikes.