Like any good bender the holidays are largely a blur and then you wake up. There’s left over food everywhere, most of it putrid and made only because of some insane tradition involving pickling cod fat. And you also have a pile of undeserved swag (in the pirate plunder sense, not whatever context the kids use it in) that you didn’t have before the nog started flowing. Couple all that with the yearly Steam sale and you have the perfect storm of money drains, cold weather, holiday chaos, and finally steaming piles of freshly vomited egg nog. But most importantly, welcome to 2014! We’ve got a new year of video games ahead of us!
Standard Issue Year End Review Article
As we near the end of the Year of our Luigi, 2013, lets take some time to look back on the games we shared. If I remember correctly, this was the year that gaming was destroyed forever, just like the year before it. We saw some big releases and some big let downs, some hits, some controversy, some hope for the future, and amidst the chaos was the WiiU slinking along doing the bare minimum to get by. So lets dollop out some awards!
Predictions for the Year Two Thousand……. and Fourteen
This wretched year is nearly at its close. We put up with a lot of crap this year on pretty much all fronts and next year isn’t looking too hot either. Everything has been terrible since that damn Mayan apocalypse thing fell apart, I was really hoping that would solve some problems. But focusing on the world of video games we’ve got some changes on the horizon. The Xbone and PS4 have launched and the next few months will determine how they are going to do. The Wii U on the other hand has been out for more than a year and is in pretty rough shape. All three will be scrambling to survive although Judging by Nintendo’s recent “Cranky Kong” announcement I can tell we’re in for quite a ride! So allow me to strap on my Nostradamus beard and gaze deep into my crystal ball and sit next to that leaky gas pipe and see what predictions I can foresee for the year 2014:
Zelda from a Different Mother
Imitation is the sincerest way… to land yourself in hot water thanks to the highly litigious nature of our modern society. But despite what Disney’s pitbulls have to say nearly all forms of media and entertainment live by recycling, reusing, and rehashing whatever proved to be profitable. This is dreadfully apparent in our beloved video game world if you look at the mountains of shovelware out there. But stealing someone elses idea isn’t necessarily a sign that something will suck, in fact many great games have been made just reinterpreting someone else. The Legend of Zelda games seem to stand alone in their action/adventure/rpg whatever you classify them as but lets not forget that there have been 3 imitators who in my opinion gave Zelda a run for its money. So here they are!
The Harsh and Unhappy Holiday Guide
The holidays are upon us! The holiday season is so powerful it even effects parts of the world that don’t give a shit about American Thanksgiving or Christmas as a gift-based holiday instead of a strictly religious one. Christmas this year has finally broken the last threshold that was holding it back: Thanksgiving. Yes this year many places are opening for Black Friday in the afternoon/evening of Thanksgiving just so we can get a few precious more hours of sales that will run out of stock even sooner. I used to work retail and let me tell you its a month long nightmare. Not just because people are so filled with holiday cheer and joy that Jesus was born that they are likely to kill you, but the constantly blaring 15 Christmas songs on loop only fan the flames. Lab rats chew off their own limbs when exposed to that much Christmas music.
Launch with Video Games
First impressions are everything. Recent studies say that with the right kind of eyes and knowledge of tells you can figure someone out within the first few seconds of meeting them. Of course recent studies is synonymous with “this news site reported this story far too early to know if the study is credible or not.” In the video game world where we fear meeting other people the closest we come to first impressions are a consoles launch, something we of the PC master race don’t have to worry or care about. Now, screwing up a system launch doesn’t necessarily mean the kiss of death, but it’s still something that should be avoided. As we approach the launches of two next gen consoles let us take a moment to look back on the best and worst of launches.